Fed up?

As soon as the month of March hit off my system, I dunno but I suddenly felt like I'm running out of time on everything.

At work, I became less motivated in what I'm doing. I think one factor of which was the fact that it seems that NSI becomes a somewhat a sales account, which, at the first place I really am not planning to go for when PeopleSupport asked if it's okay with me if I'd be assigned on that field if ever. Sigh. Another thing is that most of my batchmates went resigning. (Damn, I really hate it when someone close to me leaves.)

For the past few weeks, I come to office either almost late, or if not, will then decide to just step in on the second half of my shift. T'was quite alarming, I know (lalo pa't bago na naman ang Sup ko!). But still, I just dunno how to drag myself off of my sofabed and I can't even think of any reason why I should ...well, aside from I need earn some money to pay my bills and settle family financial issues.

Frankly, I just think I'm on this phase wherein I feel like I'm getting fed up with my job. I go to office, set up my tools, log in, take calls, take my break and lunch every 2 hours, then what? Log out, finish escalation reports (if deemed necessary and if I was not able to finish it during the call), then go home. As I lay down again, I'd meet my 'boyfriend', spend hours with him, sleep beside him, and voila! It's midnight again and I need to wake up and prepare for work.

What makes me feel that I am happy with my job? Friends, officemates, batchmates, and the scenarios that I look forward to everyday (like being able to be proud of myself if cx says I helped him/her a lot ...or new discoveries that I fortunately have known because of a call ...say, this is how this and that works- you know, the techy side of my job)

I woke up today and I fought back so many times thinking about if I should still go to work or not. But then I gave in, and again, there goes my day.

I started off my shift fine, na-inspire eh, but the again, even if I ended the day with only 19 calls, 1 sales-related (at kung di pa nag-queuing sa VIP di ako lalagyan ng PurGen na skill, thanks to that VIP who called in na actually eh nasa ospital pa nga), I still feel a bit sad.

I'm still emotionally disturbed.

I'm having this weird dreams lately, and mostly because I'm thinking too much when I'm awake. Ganun ako, when something's not right, I can easily tell. I just tend to feel sad easily. Emo? Siguro nga.

Add the fact that Mr. PB's quite aloof this past few days. Not exactly, but.. almost. Although we're not personally close, ewan... basta. I'm just getting tired of building bridges.

Anyways, I just hope today's gonna be better.