Sunday, January 24, 2010

Losing in a Gamble - JUST LIKE THAT.



“There you go, still stuck in reverse. Not moving forward, nor going back. And him-  and his complicated being, him and his unpredictable ways, would then decide to just pick up his cards- that are not even faced up…”


Yet you still gambled, even if you’re too afraid of losing all your accumulated vast wealth for more than a year.


The last bankruptcy you had was really devastating, I can tell. Let me call it “Blood is, was, and will always be thicker than water”. You lost over a lame business tycoon behind his undefeated dominating clan. You were outsmarted in a mere business war. You’ve been a veteran soldier on that business battlefield, but you raised the white flag. But that was history already; you’ve stepped back and declared ceasefire even if you know you’ll be miserable. You successfully moved on, opened up small businesses and made them grow to corporations- which grew more and more each day.

As your company established its presence, you met this chap, whom you tried winning over with on a poker- betting a merger proposal. After making you think you’ll win, with his white lies and all- he dropped his straight flash. You lost some, he won big time. As he went around your building playing around with other dumb businesswomen gamblers, you were smirking in private telling yourself it’s not worth your penny to merge. His wealth began with diamonds, yours was coal. The outcome will surely be a hit but you know it won’t feel right.

You picked up some tools of trade, and used it against everyone else- it worked. You’ve built multicorporations already; you were on the peak of your career.

Getting tired of blow-by-blow business accomplishments, you started to just stay at home. You decided to retire, after turning down a pretty win-win business acquisition proposal. You kept your stance. You went low profile, and started to enjoy the simplest pleasures in life. Travelled all over the world, explored the ins and outs of your society, and made personal connections revived and strengthened instead of socializing with pretenders whom parasitically lurk around the business plaza.

You were able to get by so suave. You actually enjoyed doing and keeping things inside your nook. I even applauded you for that tough act. It was very impressive indeed. Knowing your “-Ber months habit of longing of the outdoors”, being able to just slow things down was already commendable.

One day, I smelled something fishy. You’ve been visiting me in my office more and more each day. “…that passer by?” I asked. You gave this ‘not-so-interested-but-there’s-something’ look of yours. “Do you know him?” Good thing you don’t. He passed by again- you jumped off your couch and went to the window to peep. “You want to hold his gaze, don’t you?” You gave me a shrug. “There’s just something in him, you know…” He passed by again- with your business partner this time,  who owns a lot of Casinos. I saw a light bulb on your thought bubble- and a sly grin in your face. At that moment, I whispered to myself, “Oh my God, here we go again…”

And yes, here you go again, weeping in my arms telling me you shouldn’t have stepped outside your house, that instead you should’ve listened to me and just stayed indoors, where there’s nothing but your safe zone, at least happy memories will keep you sane.

What? You barely remember how it all started? Here’s how you and this Mr. Passer By went into something deeper.

You surprised your business partner in his Casino, and asked him to let you join in their game No necessary introductions, you just then found yourself small talking this Mr. PB from then on.

“Hey, do you still remember how he had known your name?” No you don’t.

I’d say he also likes you. If his reason why he knows it is that he heard others call you by your name, you can say he’s paying attention and that he wants to know you. From casual gambling small talks to social party invitations, to social events convos and constant business buy backs, you’ve become more related to him. Moreover, you then realized you are now constantly personally supervising your Casino shares, playing every now and then with Mr. PB, your business partner and other shareholders.

The nightly meet ups in the Casino became close encounters: house visits and eventually something ‘more’ in a personal sense.

I still remember how quirky you were when finally you became successful on making him mingle with your top company heads. Though not perfectly fine, but at least you both managed to make it through.

And then here you are, asking me to come over and dry your tears, give you a hug, pat you in the back and tell you “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

“This gambling thing should stop,” I said. You knelt and told me to let you give it a try. I warned you about getting your wealth crash down again in case this merge I call “Unintended Gamble” will turn out as another failure. And you gave me this assuring smile that you’re wiser now.

But what?

Here we are again, sitting side by side and discussing these things over lunch. You dragged me into this unsolicited lunch meeting, ranting about being different this time. You’re not sure with this gamble but you wanna give it a try. “I thought I’ve known you as someone who’ll not engage herself in a battle carrying nothing- I guess I was wrong all along.”

“You’re not wrong. It’s just that, people do change.”

Okay. Fine. Let it be. “I’m giving you the keys to my house. You can hold your gamble night in there.”

With your hug so tight, I was so assured you want this. But at the same time, a tear fell down from my eyes, I wiped it secretly as you whisper “I want to try getting back in the business scene. I need to claim what’s rightfully mine.”

Gamble night came, everything was dressed up good. You rang me and told me everything’s fine, all your associates were there, the media were all eyes on you. You think some of them already knows there’s a merger that is about to be developed, if not be agreed upon that night.

You were on a high and everybody else is so excited on how things will be placed.

Then, the tables were set- the game began. It started okay, ran right, developed fine. Give up? Nah...You were winning and you felt so powerful. You looked forward on every card everybody’s been placing their bets on. As losing gamblers were being eliminated, you felt thrilled by the thought that you’d be able to get Mr. PB on a one-on-one match later on.

Not long enough, it happened. It was a tight game. It was already the middle part of your match when I came. I gave you a flying kiss and mouthed I wish you good luck.

I checked your thought bubble, and it seems like you’re not sure with what he’s offering. It seems that his unspoken proposal was an overall merger? Quite big of a deal, but the thing is- do you trust him?

“He’s been quite of a slow poke,” I remember you told me before. “…but he’s quite a one hell of an aggressive businessman when he’s already in the battlefield.”

Just as everybody else thought you’re sure to win, Mr. PB stood up, dropped his cards face down, and said he’ll fold.

I looked at you, and first emotion I saw in you was- nothing. I was so puzzled by the fact that you were just sitting in there, staring blankly at him, staring back at you. That’s when I knew you were thinking so hard what to feel or say. And that’s odd. Because how I’ve known you is that you’re this vulnerable cry-baby. You always cry when you lose in everything- from petty betting to multimillion dollar market share biddings.

At that very moment, even if I wanted to approach you, give you a hug and slap him, I hushed myself. I let go of being your savior. “You’re wiser now, that I know for sure,” I whispered.

It’s obvious that you know he’s been waiting and wanting to know how you’ll respond. Knowing you’re this ‘psycho-analyst’ business icon, you sure did make this talent of yours so taken advantage of.

I tried reading your thought bubble. At first you planned to just give a shrug, but you know he wants you to make him feel he’s also betting for something he’ll also be rewarded with, so you expressed ‘regret with a pinch of intimidation,’ just like assuring him your all in this merger.

Afterwards, I saw some light on your situation. He did give a damn on how you’ve responded- and it seems that’ll be the last he’ll get from you about his declaring fold.

There you go, still stuck in reverse. Not moving forward, nor going back. And him-  and his complicated being, him and his unpredictable ways, would then decide to just pick up his cards, that are not even faced up, and would turn around- just like that.






JUST LIKE THAT.


-Keiko


No comments: