Another day of pondering...

"Thank you ha..."
*sarcastic*

San ka nakakita ng nag-aasaran nga pero nagpapasalamatan afterwards? Hahaha

I dunno, there's actually a lot of things I've learned to adapt from him. Say, like dismissing a topic at once if it doesn't entice my interest, or if I want to just end up a particular topic, which is, more often than not, I find a bit helpful when it comes to conversations that I'm having a hard time carrying on.

So, how's it been going so far? (Hey, how many times have I asked this on this blogsite of mine?)

Well, I just wish we could be more closer, you know. I dunno, after that day of pandemonium of thoughts that rushed into my head, my EQ went berserk and I've been expecting something more. It's quite hard, well, not just quite I guess, but it really is so hard on my part since I'm the one mostly working things out.

It's hard as I'm the one who first went into this. (or am I just the only one willing to walk through it? hmmm)

It's scary as I don't wanna take a few steps further without knowing if there's actually a place somewhere, IN TIME, that I could go ahead and stay in.

It's challenging as far as I know, as it's always been a microscopic creature, under observation, hard to be seen with the naked eye, complicated - yeah too complicated to assess.

Sigh.

It's been ongoing for days.

Nothings particularly wrong as we still carry on.

Nothings going right (on a perosnal note) as its been a "running and changing" environment, but still, I hold on.

Cause I know I want this. Cause I know somehow somewhere down the road, something (or in a more comprehensive extent - someone) is worth all the wait.

I've told him I could just settle just knowing where we actually stand, but I guess Ron, one of my closest guy officemates, is actually right- it'll be so hard. I knew that, but still I went on.

I seemed to be so powerless when it comes to him. I've been throwing in the towel as I remain weak and still hopeless, but nevertheless, I just keep on tracing back my trails to him.

Its not that he's this dreamguy or something, I dunno, I just fell so hard.

I'm still in limbo as I am swiftly falling from this very very high cliff (I call difference), never knowing if there's actually someone waiting down below willing to wait and catch me just in the nick of time.

Am I this flightless bird who aims to fly and soar high with this hawk? Or am I this fluttering butterfly defying the altitude's air pressure?

Oh dear, I just hope everythings' gonna get better after all the brush offs in public. I just feel so obliged everytime to do the WORK, you know.

But at the end of the day, IT prevails- no matter what.

*wink*