Whatever goes 06.18

A few days ago somebody asked for my blog's URL. She noticed that I'm busy typing something on my mailbox' notepad (and I hardly talked that day, which, is quite unusual) and with all that she asked me what keeps me  quiet. Confessing that what I'm doing that time was for my blog, I gave the link and let her lurk around the first few pages. I paused for a while and checked what I've been posting these days.

Baaam! It's mostly about my bumpy 'relationship'.

I told her there's nothing recent that I would recommend her reading. I named a particular post which I wrote when I was not that mushy/pathetic, but that was like... few months ago. Talk about the ups and downs of being in love. Aaaargh!

Anyways, here I am now, up again, thinking of what lies ahead. I need to still sleep, since after my class for today I'd go straight to work and probably won't be able to sleep well until Sunday.

I'm thinking about my homework, which, I haven't actually even drafted. I need to finish them all today (for all my subjects) since I don't wanna think about them in between my shift and sleep before I go to school the next day. I need to cut off my worry hours you know, kaka-stress kaya.

I'm also thinking about Ron, who's about to leave today, off to somewhere. I really hope he gets back home as planned, and would still be the Ron I'm now close with. Natutuwa ako sa kaniya lately. He's like these guy best friends of mine I'm quite missing for some time now. (Onga no, wala na pala akong JR or Jhay na nakakausap ng masinsinan) Sigh. Anyways, I just hope he comes back with the peace of mind I know he's wishing for.

As to my ONLY EXCEPTION, keri lang. I dunno but, I know we both know something's changed. Hindi ako ang nagbago for sure. Or at least if he claims I am the one who  actually did, well then, most likely, if he'll analyze it all, this is just how I respond to what he's doing or acting like so far. I remember what my bhes Chi-chi Nica posted on facebook:

"wag na nating linawin kung ano tayo, baka lalo lumabo eh:))"

June 9 at 11:17pm

Well, I dunno, Ron keeps on telling me we should talk about this, but, I'm just hesitant to ask. I'm tired of making it work, it's because it seems to be one-sided, you know? I don't wanna ask 'coz I'm afraid of the answer I'll get. I don't wanna open up anymore, 'coz it 'lljust make things more complicated. That's why I really really hate confrontation because I'm not good at it. I really really really suck at it.

Hmm, enough about that usual sentiments.

About school, well, I'm quite thrilled by the fact that most of my professors seem to be so smart. Though of course I'm this Ms. Always-has-something-to-say, they just have varying teaching styles. Since I'm quite very particular with how they get the lessons across, I just hope with all the "you're paying for all this.." thoughts at the back of my mind every time I go to school will always keep me focused- regardless of the teaching flaws and minor incompetency of each.

When it comes to friendship, well, shocking revelations, sweet love stories and being reunited with most of them are just some of the highlights. I just hope everything falls into place, seeing them is not enough I guess. We need to catch up and get some quality time together- just like the old days.

So far so good, hassle at times because of the sleeping hours but I know I'll carry on.

Oh, and I'm now about to watch my Sex and the City 2 download, so...

let's all CARRIE on. 

:)